[CRISP-TEAM] Draft comment to the CWG proposal

[Bill Woodcock]

> On May 16, 2015, at 3:32 AM, Izumi Okutani <izumi at nic.ad.jp> wrote:
> Please find attached a draft for our response on the CWG proposal.
> I will add in the Annex, Michael and John's analysis on the comparison between the numbers and the names proposal.
> 
> I would like to call for your feedback on any other points we should make.
> The language is not brushed up and needs more work. I welcome your edits on the language as well.

Please find my suggested edits, primarily of the grammar.  Of substantive issues, the main ones for me are these:

- PTI staff serving as PTI Board would be a very unusual structure.  I just wanted to make sure that if we’re actually suggesting that, we have a rationale.

- It says our SLA is for fixed-fee, which is definitely _not_ what the current Draft SLA says.  So that whole paragraph either needs to be substantially changed, or we need to substantially change the Draft SLA.  But they’re mutually-contradictory right now.

- The paragraph on the Review Team is not clearly-worded enough for me to unambiguously understand its intent.  I’m guessing that the intent is to say that we have our own Review Committee for Numbers SLA, so we don’t need to also sit on the Review Team for Names SLA.  If that’s correct, let me know, and I’ll provide wording that I consider unambiguous.

Otherwise, looks great!  Thanks for the hard work!

                                -Bill



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