[CRISP-TEAM] Comment deadline UTC2030 e: Version 8 clean and redline

[Nurani Nimpuno]

Thank you thank you thank you Alan for your eagle-eyed review. 

I really appreciate having you read through it all so thoroughly as well and catching all these missed bits. 

I support all these comments. (As for III.A.3, we're addressing that in a separate mail conversation.)

Thanks,
Nurani




On 15 jan 2015, at 21:03, Alan Barrett <apb at cequrux.com> wrote:

> On Fri, 16 Jan 2015, Izumi Okutani wrote:
>> Please give your comment before UTC 2030.
> 
> I have reviewed the changes from version 7 to version 8, and I have the following comments:
> 
> 
> I.B last sentence, please change "IANA Number Registry System" to "Internet Number Registry System" for consistency with RFC 7020. This was correct in version 7.  The same error appears in several other places in the document so it needs global search and replace "IANA Number Registry System" -> "Internet Number Registry System".  The glossary has the correct term, "Internet Number Registry System".
> 
> Note that "IANA Number Registries" is correct, but when you add "System", then it's "Internet Number Registry System" (which includes the IANA, the RIRs, and NIRs in countries that have those).
> 
> 
> III.A.3.  says "the NTIA has no oversight role in IANA Numbering Services".  Is that accurate?  The previous vesion qualified it as no oversight role "in policy-making", not no oversight role at all.  I don't know the answer.
> 
> 
> III.A.3 says "Via the ASO, the three members from each RIR region have been participating in the periodic independent reviews by the Accountability and Transparency Review Team (ATRT) that are called for in ICANN’s Bylaws."  The previous text sais "Via the ASO, the RIRs have been participating ...". The old text was accurate, and the new text is inaccurate.  It's true that three members from each RIR region are members of the ASO AC, but not all theee members participate in ATRT reviews.
> 
> 
> II.B.3.i "ICANN, as the current IANA Numbering Services Operator, is obligated by the NTIA agreement to manage of the IANA Number Registries according to policies developed by the Internet Number Community."  Please delete "of".
> 
> 
> III.A.3 "The agreement should also require the IANA Numbering Services Operator to appropriately coordinate with any other operator of IANA Numbering Services."  I think we want them to coordinate with any other operator of IANA services.  For example, if numbers and protocol parameters are handled by different contractors, they should coordinate with each other.
> 
> 
> --apb (Alan Barrett)
> 
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