[CRISP-TEAM] Comment deadline UTC2030 e: Version 8 clean and redline

[Alan Barrett]

On Fri, 16 Jan 2015, Izumi Okutani wrote:
>Please give your comment before UTC 2030.

I have reviewed the changes from version 7 to version 8, and I 
have the following comments:


I.B last sentence, please change "IANA Number Registry System" 
to "Internet Number Registry System" for consistency with RFC 
7020. This was correct in version 7.  The same error appears in 
several other places in the document so it needs global search and 
replace "IANA Number Registry System" -> "Internet Number Registry 
System".  The glossary has the correct term, "Internet Number 
Registry System".

Note that "IANA Number Registries" is correct, but when you add 
"System", then it's "Internet Number Registry System" (which 
includes the IANA, the RIRs, and NIRs in countries that have 
those).


III.A.3.  says "the NTIA has no oversight role in IANA Numbering 
Services".  Is that accurate?  The previous vesion qualified it 
as no oversight role "in policy-making", not no oversight role at 
all.  I don't know the answer.


III.A.3 says "Via the ASO, the three members from each RIR region 
have been participating in the periodic independent reviews by the 
Accountability and Transparency Review Team (ATRT) that are called 
for in ICANN’s Bylaws."  The previous text sais "Via the ASO, 
the RIRs have been participating ...". The old text was accurate, 
and the new text is inaccurate.  It's true that three members 
from each RIR region are members of the ASO AC, but not all theee 
members participate in ATRT reviews.


II.B.3.i "ICANN, as the current IANA Numbering Services Operator, 
is obligated by the NTIA agreement to manage of the IANA Number 
Registries according to policies developed by the Internet Number 
Community."  Please delete "of".


III.A.3 "The agreement should also require the IANA Numbering 
Services Operator to appropriately coordinate with any other 
operator of IANA Numbering Services."  I think we want them to 
coordinate with any other operator of IANA services.  For example, 
if numbers and protocol parameters are handled by different 
contractors, they should coordinate with each other.


--apb (Alan Barrett)