[CRISP-TEAM] IANA Draft Proposal 14012015 - MRA

[Bill Woodcock]

Alan:  I will integrate all of these.  I was hoping to catch up the lost time, but this will take a little longer, as I’m still grinding on punctuation and format right now.



> On Jan 14, 2015, at 3:23 PM, Alan Barrett <apb at cequrux.com> wrote:
> 
> On Wed, 14 Jan 2015, Michael Abejuela wrote:
>> My apologies, I anticipated getting this out an hour earlier.  Please find attached a redline and clean version of the updates to the draft proposal.  In this draft you will observe the changes identified in Izumi’s e-mail “Compilation of Sugested texts – issues discussed at the 11th call” and Izumi’s e-mail earlier today “To Michael: Suggested changes to be reflected”
> 
> Thank you.  I have a few comments:
> 
> Section I.B: "The RIRs, not-for-profit membership-based
> organizations, manage ...".  This is missing the "with elected governing
> boards" that was present in another section.  This section is also
> missing the definitions of "NRO" and "NRO EC" that I suggested should be
> moved to this section, and that I thought received agreement.  See the
> email thread "Move description of RIRs, NRO, and NRO EC to section I.A"
> in which I provided a redline file draft-apb-NROEC-RIR.20150113.1.docx
> with suggested edits.
> 
> Section III.A.2: The sentence "It is the preference of the RIR community
> that all relevant parties agree to these expectations as part of the
> transition" appears twice, buth in a paragraph near the middle, and in a
> sentence at the end of the last paragraph.
> 
> Section III.A.3: "It is expected that RIR staff, as the contractual
> party of this agreement, will draft the specific language of this
> agreement." I thought we agreed that "the RIRs", not "RIR staff", would
> draft the contract.  Also, could we say "contract" instead of
> "agreement" here?
> 
> * Section III.A.4: I think we agreed that "The RIRs shall establish a
> Review Committee".
> 
> 
> I also found several changes that I proposed, that received consensus, but that have not been integrated.  I did not look for similar cases on behalf of others.
> 
> * Email thread "Document status inside the document", my redline file
> draft-apb-STATUS.20150113.1.redline.docx from the email message
> with these headers:
> 
>   Date: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 12:36:28 +0200
>   From: Alan Barrett <apb at cequrux.com>
>   To: crisp at nro.net
>   Subject: Re: [CRISP-TEAM] Document status inside the document
> 
> * Email thread "Change NRO EC to RIRs", my suggestions in the message
> with these email headers,
>   Date: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 11:25:27 +0200
>   From: Alan Barrett <apb at cequrux.com>
>   To: crisp at nro.net
>   Subject: [CRISP-TEAM] Change NRO EC to RIRs
> 
> as modified by Paul Rendek's commens in this email message:
> 
>   Date: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 10:54:39 +0000
>   From: Paul Rendek <rendek at ripe.net>
>   To: crisp at nro.net
>   Subject: Re: [CRISP-TEAM] Change NRO EC to RIRs
> 
> * Emaill thread "Move description of RIRs, NRO, and NRO EC to section I.A",
> my redline file draft-apb-NROEC-RIR.20150113.1.docx from this email
> message:
> 
>   Date: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 12:04:15 +0200
>   From: Alan Barrett <apb at cequrux.com>
>   To: crisp at nro.net
>   Subject: [CRISP-TEAM] Move description of RIRs, NRO, and NRO EC to
>    section I.A
> 
> modified by changing "associations" to "organizations".
> 
> 
> Finally, I think we still need to update section VI.I to ensure that it
> captures all recent discussions.  See items 9 and 10 in this email message:
> 
>   Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 10:26:00 +0200
>   From: Alan Barrett <apb at cequrux.com>
>   To: crisp at nro.net
>   Subject: [CRISP-TEAM] Editorial suggestions
> 
> --apb (Alan Barrett)
> 
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> https://www.nro.net/mailman/listinfo/crisp

                                -Bill




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