[CRISP-TEAM] proposed Editorials: Internet Number Community IANA Stewardship Proposal: Final Call for Comments

[Alan Barrett]

On Mon, 12 Jan 2015, Mwendwa Kivuva wrote:
>Some few suggested editorials inline ...

I have made most of these changes in the draft that I am editing.  
See comments for changes I have not made.  In the case of trivial 
changes, I made the change without commenting or quoting Mwendwa's 
suggestion.

><snip>
>
>Note that within each IANA registry ... change to
>
>Within each IANA registry,
>
>NB: I'm not a native speaker of English, I may be wrong.

I changed all the "Note that ..." and "It is important to note that"
text as you suggested.

>Include link for RFC3172

Added to section I.D (my suggestion) and II.A.4 (your suggestion).

><snip>
>
> Accountability and Transparency (ATRT) ...
>The meaning of ATRT is "Accountability & Transparency Review Team"

You didn't suggest text, so I said:

    It is also worth noting that the RIRs have been participating
    (as the ASO) in the periodic independent review processes by the
    Accountability and Transparency Review Team (ATRT) that is called
    for per ICANN’s Bylaws.

><snip>
>
> an RIR's registration and allocation ... change to
> a RIR's registration and allocation

No, "an RIR" is correct.  The choice of "a" or "an" is determined by the
pronunciation, not the spelling, of the next word,  In this case, it's
pronounced "an arr-eye-arr", not "a rhirr".

><snip>
>On community process, APNIC has mentioned the names of nominees while other
>groups have not. Probably we need to maintain consistency and have the
>names mentioned at the end of the document on this section:
>
>VI.G.  Global Internet Numbers Community Process (CRISP Team)
>
></snip>

Please suggest text.  I have not made any change here.

--apb (Alan Barrett)