[CRISP-TEAM] Editorial suggestions

Michael Abejuela mabejuela at arin.net
Mon Jan 12 17:22:21 CET 2015

Thank you Alan and Bill for working with me on this.  In response to your
e-mail Alan, please see below:

(1)	Yes you are correct, that is the document and the most recent one I
sent to you I apologize had the same file name but the only change was the
metadata change.  

(2)	Bill, I know you are out of pocket with the Board meeting and travel
immediately afterwards.  Alan, if you provide me your edits with track
changes, I can work on combining the edits into a master document.  Then
you can get some much needed and deserved rest!

(3)	I do have a prior commitment that will take me offline from 22:00 UTC
to 02:00 UTC but can combine the edits after that.  I anticipate being
able to complete the combination by 03:00 UTC.

(4)	I can then circulate to both of Alan and Bill, and Bill, if you can do
a ³copyedit² (and any other editorial changes we may have missed) pass,
that would be great.

(5)	To keep consistent with the process that has been in place, Bill, once
you have done your copyedit pass, could you send to me and Alan and then I
will finalize with clean and redline versions as well as various formats
for both posting on the IANAXFER list and providing to German for website

I agree, we do need two copyedit rounds (1) editorial and (2) substantive
as this is what was agreed on the call today.  Have I missed anything and
does this work for everyone?


Michael R. Abejuela

Associate General Counsel


3635 Concorde Parkway

Suite 200

Chantilly, VA 20151

(703) 227-9875 (p)

(703) 263-0111 (f)

mabejuela at arin.net


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On 1/12/15, 11:01 AM, "Alan Barrett" <apb at cequrux.com> wrote:

>On Mon, 12 Jan 2015, Bill Woodcock wrote:
>>> On Jan 12, 2015, at 10:06 AM, Izumi Okutani <izumi at nic.ad.jp> wrote:
>>> 1) Produce version with editorial changes
>>> 2) Produce version with substantial changes
>> Understood.  Alan and Michael, I believe our five steps should
>> be to (1) fix with certainty what base document we¹re working
>> from, (2) compile all of the applicable edits, (3) apply those
>> edits, (4) copyedit the result for grammar, punctuation,
>> etc., and (5) return the edited draft to the list.
>For (1) "what base document", let's work from the document sent by
>Michael with these email headers:
>    From: Michael Abejuela <mabejuela at arin.net>
>    To: Alan Barrett <apb at cequrux.com>
>    CC: "crisp at nro.net" <crisp at nro.net>
>    Subject: Re: CRISP TEAM - Clean version docx
>    Thread-Topic: CRISP TEAM - Clean version docx
>    Thread-Index: AQHQLmuMiF9rbpwJTEyBymcfQdsS4Jy81feA//+2q4A=
>    Date: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 14:33:33 +0000
>    Message-ID: <D0D944CE.98C20%mabejuela at arin.net>
>The file name of the attachment in that message is "CRISP IANA
>PROPOSAL Draft 08012015-clean-updated-1530UTC.docx" but there
>has been more than one file with that name (differing only in
>metadata, as far as I am aware).
>> What is our timeframe for accomplishing these five steps?
>> I¹m in the ARIN board meeting right now (until 21:30 UTC), and
>> on an airplane after that (23:00 UTC until 08:00 UTC tomorrow).
>> If Alan and Michael can nail down (1) and as much of (2) as
>> possible by 22:30 UTC, I can put in at least four hours of
>> dedicated work on (2) through (4) before 08:00 UTC, and suggest
>> that we could have finished (4) and (5) by 20:00 UTC Wednesday.
>For (2) "compile all of the applicable edits", let's each work
>on a separate copy of the document and a separate set of edits.
>I'll do the edits that I suggested myself, and changes from "NRO
>EC" to "RIRs" where appropriate.  Bill will not be available, but
>perhaps Michael can work on edits suggested by others.  I'll send
>my "track changes" document to Michael by 22:00 UTC today (6 hours
>from now).  That will be midnight in my time zone, and I won't be
>much use after that time.
>For (3) "apply those edits", I hope Michael can combine all the
>edits and share the result by 23:00 UTC today.
>For (4) "copyedit", Bill can work on it (and any other editorial
>changes we may have missed) after 23:00 UTC.
>(5) "return the edited draft to the list" as soon as Bill is ready, I
>> Is that sufficient?  Or should we put off (4) until substantive
>> edits are applied, and try to borrow ourselves ten or twelve
>> hours now?
>We probably need two copyediting rounds, one after applying editorial
>changes, and another after substantive changes are made.
>--apb (Alan Barrett)

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