[CRISP-TEAM] A few formating changes to Section III

[Nurani Nimpuno]

On 9 jan 2015, at 12:17, Andrei Robachevsky <robachevsky at isoc.org> wrote:

> I support these changes. I think they make our points more clear and the
> document more readable.

+1 

I agree that adds clarity.
Nurani


> 
> Andrei
> 
> Izumi Okutani wrote on 09/01/15 12:06:
>> CRISP Team,
>> 
>> 
>> As I raised in an e-mail post and at the call yesterday, I'd like to
>> suggest 3 formatting changes to Section III.
>> 
>> It does not change any text/contents
>> 
>> The reason why I think is important is, it should be easy to capture the
>> core elements of our proposal in Section III.
>> 
>> I feel the 2nd draft is more difficult to capture this, as we added
>> details into our proposal, while it was improved in our published draft
>> to some extent by deleting details of Review Commitee.
>> 
>> I don't want to add too much on our plate as we have issues to dicuss
>> our position but if it's not controversial, it is my preference to
>> address this.
>> 
>> What are your thoughts?
>> Please let me know especially if you have concerns.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Proposed changes: (See attached word file for redline)
>> 
>> 1. Move the paragraph which describes how the proposal is positioned
>>    with other function, under III A. from III A3
>>     - It looks like general principles for all elements not just SLA
>>     - Slims SLA part with the core of what it proposes
>> 
>> 2. Move the sentence "The Internet numbering community proposes that a
>>    new contract be established between the IANA functions operator and
>>    the five RIRs."
>>     - Easier to capture the proposal by describing what we propose in
>>       early paragraph
>> 
>> 3. Lower indent for "IANA Agreement Principles" part
>>     - To Highlight the overview of SLA proposed element
>>     - Easier to keep in mind about 4 proposed elements without getting
>>       lost into details of SLA points.
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> Regards,
>> Izumi
>> 
>> 
>> 
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> 
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