[CRISP-TEAM] ver.6 Draft Announcement for the proposal
German Valdez
german at nro.net
Thu Jan 8 12:57:58 CET 2015
Hi Izumi
Please use the below urls
Clean Version : ## URL ##
http://www.nro.net/crisp-proposal-second-draft <http://www.nro.net/crisp-proposal-second-draft>
Redline Version: ## URL ##
http:///www.nro.net/crisp-proposal-second-draft-change-control <http:/www.nro.net/crisp-proposal-second-draft-change-control>
You can check the status of the issues raised by the community and
proposed the CRISP Team positions at:
http://www.nro.net/crisp-iana-xfer-summary-discussion-08012015 <http://www.nro.net/crisp-iana-xfer-summary-discussion-08012015>
Replace these URLs in your announcement
<https://www.nro.net/nro-and-internet-governance/iana-oversight/timeline-for-rirs-engagement-in-iana-stewardship-transition-process>
use instead:
http://www.nro.net/timeline-engagement <http://www.nro.net/timeline-engagement>
<https://www.nro.net/wp-content/uploads/CRISP-IANA-PROPOSAL-Draft-24122014-clean.pdf>
use instead:
http://www.nro.net/crisp-proposal-first-draft-1-1 <http://www.nro.net/crisp-proposal-first-draft-1-1>
Regards
German
> On 8 Jan 2015, at 5:47 pm, Izumi Okutani <izumi at nic.ad.jp> wrote:
>
> CRISP Team,
>
>
> Seeing continued discussions on IANAXFER list, I added the part marked
> in *, to clarify we considered all comments before the deadline.
>
> ---
> The CRISP Team have considered all comments expressed on
> <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list *before the deadline of 5th Jan 2015*
> ---
>
> We did consider the suggestion raised by Hans Petter after 5th Jan
> actually, but I don't think people have issues about that, incorporating
> what is supported on the list.
>
>
>
> Izumi
>
> ver.6
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Internet Number Community IANA Stewardship Proposal: Final Call for Comments
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Dear colleagues,
>
>
> Please find the second draft of the Internet numbers community's
> response to the Request For Proposals issued by the IANA Stewardship
> Coordination Group (ICG).
>
> This draft has been prepared by the Consolidated RIR IANA Stewardship
> Proposal (CRISP) Team, with considerations of feedback received from the
> global community on <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list.
>
> We have incorporated the following key points in the second draft:
>
> - Additional description on contract details, review committee and
> intellectual property rights
> - Description revised on Section V. NITA Requirements and VI.
> Community Process for more clarity
> - No changes are made to key elements of the proposal
>
> The CRISP Team have considered all comments expressed on
> <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list before the deadline of 5th Jan 2015, and
> would now like to make the final call for comments from the global
> community on the draft proposal, before submitting to the ICG.
>
> Second Draft proposal:
> ------------------------
> Clean Version : ## URL ##
> Redline Version: ## URL ##
>
> The deadline for providing feedback: Mon, 12 January 2015 23:59 UTC
> Feedback should be sent to : <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list
>
> Community Inputs Considered by the CRISP Team:
> ------------------------------------------
> You can check the status of the issues raised by the community and
> proposed the CRISP Team positions at:
>
> ## URL ##
>
> Key dates:
> -----------
> Second draft to be published : 8 Jan 2015
> Second draft comments close : 12 Jan 2015, 23:59 UTC
> Final proposal to be sent to ICG : 15 Jan 2015
>
> How to Engage in Discussions:
> -----------------------------
> All global discussions, for the CRISP team to consider as community
> feedback, will be conducted at <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list.
> All the CRISP Team discussions are open to observers.
>
> Next Step:
> -----------
> In developing the final draft based on further feedback, the CRISP
> Team will ensure it has completed considerations of all substantial
> issues raised by the global community, which are compiled in the
> published issues list. The proposal will only incorporate issues that
> the CRISP team believes have received consensus support from the
> community.
>
> References:
> ------------
> * Discussions by the CRISP Team
> Details of all the CRISP team's work to date, including recordings,
> minutes and agendas of all the CRISP Team teleconferences and a
> public archive of the internal CRISP team mailing list, are
> available at:
> https://nro.net/crisp-team
>
> * Other links:
> - The ICG request for proposals:
> <https://www.icann.org/news/announcement-3-2014-09-03-en>
>
> - The IANA Stewardship Transition Discussion in each RIR region:
>
> <https://www.nro.net/nro-and-internet-governance/iana-oversight/timeline-for-rirs-engagement-in-iana-stewardship-transition-process>
>
> - First Draft proposal (Edited version)
>
> <https://www.nro.net/wp-content/uploads/CRISP-IANA-PROPOSAL-Draft-24122014-clean.pdf>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> On 2015/01/08 11:11, Izumi Okutani wrote:
>> CRISP Team,
>>
>>
>> A re-send with version number updated: ver.5
>>
>> No changes in the draft annnouncement including wordings.
>> I felt keeping the right version number is important for clarity.
>>
>>
>> Thanks,
>> Izumi
>>
>>
>> ver.5
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>> Internet Number Community IANA Stewardship Proposal: Final Call for Comments
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>> Dear colleagues,
>>
>>
>> Please find the second draft of the Internet numbers community's
>> response to the Request For Proposals issued by the IANA Stewardship
>> Coordination Group (ICG).
>>
>> This draft has been prepared by the Consolidated RIR IANA Stewardship
>> Proposal (CRISP) Team, with considerations of feedback received from the
>> global community on <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list.
>>
>> We have incorporated the following key points in the second draft:
>>
>> - Additional description on contract details, review committee and
>> intellectual property rights
>> - Description revised on Section V. NITA Requirements and VI.
>> Community Process for more clarity
>> - No changes are made to key elements of the proposal
>>
>> The CRISP Team have considered all comments expressed on
>> <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list, and would now like to make the final
>> call for comments from the global community on the draft proposal,
>> before submitting to the ICG.
>>
>> Second Draft proposal:
>> ------------------------
>> Clean Version: ## URL ##
>> Redline Version: ## URL ##
>>
>> The deadline for providing feedback: Mon, 12 January 2015 23:59 UTC
>> Feedback should be sent to : <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list
>>
>> Community Inputs Considered by the CRISP Team:
>> ------------------------------------------
>> You can check the status of the issues raised by the community and
>> proposed the CRISP Team positions at:
>>
>> ## URL ##
>>
>> Key dates:
>> -----------
>> Second draft to be published : 8 Jan 2015
>> Second draft comments close : 12 Jan 2015, 23:59 UTC
>> Final proposal to be sent to ICG : 15 Jan 2015
>>
>> How to Engage in Discussions:
>> -----------------------------
>> All global discussions, for the CRISP team to consider as community
>> feedback, will be conducted at <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list.
>> All the CRISP Team discussions are open to observers.
>>
>> Next Step:
>> -----------
>> In developing the final draft based on further feedback, the CRISP
>> Team will ensure it has completed considerations of all substantial
>> issues raised by the global community, which are compiled in the
>> published issues list. The proposal will only incorporate issues that
>> the CRISP team believes have received consensus support from the
>> community.
>>
>> References:
>> ------------
>> * Discussions by the CRISP Team
>> Details of all the CRISP team's work to date, including recordings,
>> minutes and agendas of all the CRISP Team teleconferences and a
>> public archive of the internal CRISP team mailing list, are
>> available at:
>> https://nro.net/crisp-team
>>
>> * Other links:
>> - The ICG request for proposals:
>> <https://www.icann.org/news/announcement-3-2014-09-03-en>
>>
>> - The IANA Stewardship Transition Discussion in each RIR region:
>>
>> <https://www.nro.net/nro-and-internet-governance/iana-oversight/timeline-for-rirs-engagement-in-iana-stewardship-transition-process>
>>
>> - First Draft proposal (Edited version)
>>
>> <https://www.nro.net/wp-content/uploads/CRISP-IANA-PROPOSAL-Draft-24122014-clean.pdf>
>>
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>> On 2015/01/08 11:08, Izumi Okutani wrote:
>>> Nurani, Alan, CRISP Team,
>>>
>>>
>>> Many thanks for your feedback to the announcement.
>>> Really helpful including editorial checks.
>>>
>>> I will follow up with NRO Secretariat about sharking links to archives
>>> of mailing lists on CRISP Team page, with other actions for NRO Secretariat.
>>>
>>>
>>> See the updated version with the following changes:
>>>
>>> - the second draft --> kept the word as it is
>>> (Alan, indeed I used this word for the reason you mentioned)
>>>
>>> - expresed --> expressed
>>>
>>> - CRISP team --> the CRISP Team
>>> (the kept as small letter to be consistent with NRO website)
>>>
>>> - ICG --> the ICG
>>>
>>> - Replace the last sentence in "Next Step": positive wording
>>> "The proposal will only incorporate issues that the CRISP
>>> team believes have received consensus support from the community."
>>> (The intention of the original sentence was, to ensure to the
>>> community that we are not proposing which was not agreed.
>>> Having said that, I do agree with Nurani's text - Thanks!)
>>>
>>>
>>> Thanks,
>>> Izumi
>>>
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> Internet Number Community IANA Stewardship Proposal: Final Call for Comments
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>> Dear colleagues,
>>>
>>>
>>> Please find the second draft of the Internet numbers community's
>>> response to the Request For Proposals issued by the IANA Stewardship
>>> Coordination Group (ICG).
>>>
>>> This draft has been prepared by the Consolidated RIR IANA Stewardship
>>> Proposal (CRISP) Team, with considerations of feedback received from the
>>> global community on <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list.
>>>
>>> We have incorporated the following key points in the second draft:
>>>
>>> - Additional description on contract details, review committee and
>>> intellectual property rights
>>> - Description revised on Section V. NITA Requirements and VI.
>>> Community Process for more clarity
>>> - No changes are made to key elements of the proposal
>>>
>>> The CRISP Team have considered all comments expressed on
>>> <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list, and would now like to make the final
>>> call for comments from the global community on the draft proposal,
>>> before submitting to the ICG.
>>>
>>> Second Draft proposal:
>>> ------------------------
>>> Clean Version: ## URL ##
>>> Redline Version: ## URL ##
>>>
>>> The deadline for providing feedback: Mon, 12 January 2015 23:59 UTC
>>> Feedback should be sent to : <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list
>>>
>>> Community Inputs Considered by the CRISP Team:
>>> ------------------------------------------
>>> You can check the status of the issues raised by the community and
>>> proposed the CRISP Team positions at:
>>>
>>> ## URL ##
>>>
>>> Key dates:
>>> -----------
>>> Second draft to be published : 8 Jan 2015
>>> Second draft comments close : 12 Jan 2015, 23:59 UTC
>>> Final proposal to be sent to ICG : 15 Jan 2015
>>>
>>> How to Engage in Discussions:
>>> -----------------------------
>>> All global discussions, for the CRISP team to consider as community
>>> feedback, will be conducted at <ianaxfer at nro.net> mailing list.
>>> All the CRISP Team discussions are open to observers.
>>>
>>> Next Step:
>>> -----------
>>> In developing the final draft based on further feedback, the CRISP
>>> Team will ensure it has completed considerations of all substantial
>>> issues raised by the global community, which are compiled in the
>>> published issues list. The proposal will only incorporate issues that
>>> the CRISP team believes have received consensus support from the
>>> community.
>>>
>>> References:
>>> ------------
>>> * Discussions by the CRISP Team
>>> Details of all the CRISP team's work to date, including recordings,
>>> minutes and agendas of all the CRISP Team teleconferences and a
>>> public archive of the internal CRISP team mailing list, are
>>> available at:
>>> https://nro.net/crisp-team
>>>
>>> * Other links:
>>> - The ICG request for proposals:
>>> <https://www.icann.org/news/announcement-3-2014-09-03-en>
>>>
>>> - The IANA Stewardship Transition Discussion in each RIR region:
>>>
>>> <https://www.nro.net/nro-and-internet-governance/iana-oversight/timeline-for-rirs-engagement-in-iana-stewardship-transition-process>
>>>
>>> - First Draft proposal (Edited version)
>>>
>>> <https://www.nro.net/wp-content/uploads/CRISP-IANA-PROPOSAL-Draft-24122014-clean.pdf>
>>>
>>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> On 2015/01/08 5:32, Nurani Nimpuno wrote:
>>>> On 7 jan 2015, at 21:22, Alan Barrett <apb at cequrux.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> On Wed, 07 Jan 2015, Nurani Nimpuno wrote:
>>>>>>> Dear colleagues,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Please find the second draft of the Internet numbers community's
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Could we say "second, and final draft" here?
>>>>>> (And the proposal we send to the ICG is called the "finalised proposal"?)
>>>>>
>>>>> I'd prefer not to label anything as a "final draft" until we send it to
>>>>> the ICG. There's the possibility that something unforseen may happen to
>>>>> make us produce another draft.
>>>>
>>>> Ok, I take your point. Let's keep the current wording.
>>>>
>>>>>>> CRISP team have considered all comments expresed on <ianaxfer at nro.net>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> expressed
>>>>>
>>>>> Also "The CRISP Team".
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>> In developing the final draft based on further feedback, CRISP Team
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "The CRISP Team"
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> will ensure it has completed considerations of all substantial issues
>>>>>>> raised by the global community, which are compiled on the published
>>>>>>
>>>>>> compiled in the published
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> issues list. The Team will not incorporate any issues which are
>>>>>>> considered to be unresolved by CRISP Team into the proposal.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Could we reword this to something more positive, but still clear?
>>>>>> Would the following work:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "The proposal will only incorporate issues that the CRISP team believes have received consensus support from the community".
>>>>>
>>>>> I like Nurani's suggested text.
>>>>>
>>>>>>> * Discussions by CRISP Team
>>>>>>> Details of all the CRISP team's work to date, including recordings,
>>>>>>> minutes and agendas of all CRISP teleconferences and a public
>>>>>>> archive of the internal CRISP team mailing list, are available at:
>>>>>>> https://nro.net/crisp-team
>>>>>
>>>>> Last time I checked, the mailing list archives were not easily
>>>>> accessible from that page. We could ask the secretariat to fix that.
>>>>
>>>> I sent a mail about that to the list today.
>>>> Nurani
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --apb (Alan Barrett)
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> CRISP mailing list
>>>>> CRISP at nro.net
>>>>> https://www.nro.net/mailman/listinfo/crisp
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> CRISP mailing list
>>>> CRISP at nro.net
>>>> https://www.nro.net/mailman/listinfo/crisp
>>>>
>>>
>>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> CRISP mailing list
> CRISP at nro.net
> https://www.nro.net/mailman/listinfo/crisp
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