[CRISP-TEAM] 2ND CRISP IANA PROPOSAL Draft - CRISP Review

[Andrei Robachevsky]

Thank you Michael, this is great work!

I have 4 suggestions:

1) I am reading the description of the service or activity (IA) with a
fresh eye and if seems to be a bit too narrow. My suggestion:

I.A. A description of the service or activity

The IANA activities relevant to the number resources communities are the
maintenance of the global Internet number resource registries, including
the allocation of IPv4
addresses, IPv6 addresses, and Autonomous System Numbers (“ASNs”) to the
Regional
Internet Registries (“RIRs”) as well as the delegation of subdomains
below the “INADDR.
ARPA” and “IP6.ARPA” domains in accordance with the allocation of IPv4 and
IPv6 addresses.


2) If we agree with that I also suggest that we change one of the SLA
principles: "ii. Distribution of Internet Number Resources by the IANA
Operator to RIRs"

ii. Description of Services Provided by the IANA Operator to RIRs

Principle:
The IANA Operator will maintain the global Internet number resource
registries. The IANA Operator will distribute Internet number Resources
to the RIRs in accordance with the specific processes and timelines
described in this section of the agreement. The IANA Operator will
delegate subdomains below the “IN- ADDR.ARPA” and “IP6.ARPA” domains in
accordance with the allocation of IPv4 and IPv6 addresses.


3) I also suggest a minor change to to  Section II.B.2 to make it more
clear (e.g. whose formation - may be read that ICANN provided services
since IANA's formation):

Section II.B.2

There is no contractual obligation directly to the Internet number
resource community for the IANA operator to provide IANA registry
services for the Internet number registries; IANA services for the
Internet number registries are provided by ICANN since its formation as
a result of the NTIA IANA Functions contract and hence IANA services for
the Internet number registries are presently subject to change per that
agreement.

change to:

There is no contractual obligation directly to the Internet number
resource community for the IANA operator to provide IANA registry
services for the Internet number registries. ICANN has historically
provided IANA services for the Internet number registries under the
terms of the NTIA IANA Functions contract and therefore IANA services
for the Internet number registries are presently subject to change per
that agreement.

4) Finally, regarding I.C.· What registries are involved in providing
the service or activity:

> [...] Delegation of subdomains below the “IN-ADDR.ARPA” and “IP6.ARPA” domain names also requires interaction with the .ARPA zone registry.

I am not sure that that delegation affects .ARPA. Maybe:

"[...] Delegation of subdomains below the “IN-ADDR.ARPA” and “IP6.ARPA”
domains in accordance with the allocation of IPv4 and IPv6 addresses."


Thank you again for putting this all together!

Regards,

Andrei


Michael Abejuela wrote on 08/01/15 09:07:
> Hello CRISP Team,
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and redlined text, it definitely helped
> with incorporating the edits into this 2nd draft of the proposal.  Thank
> you also to Izumi and Alan for compiling a lot of the necessary changes
> into a consolidated form.  I attempted to incorporate all of the revised
> text, but please review for any that I may have missed and need to edit.
>  I also proposed a numbering scheme that may or may not seem awkward to
> some but appreciate any feedback on this item as well.  I am attaching
> both a clean and redline version for your review.  I will also make
> final formatting updates on the final draft for release as a last cleanup.
> 
> One editorial item I did incorporate but ask for your comment or
> approval is in the section now labeled II.B.3.ii Regional Internet
> Registries – second paragraph, last sentence where I have removed
> “specific funding or operational resolutions” and in its place put
> “matters related to the respective RIR.”  I made this language more
> general to be in line with my understanding of all the RIRs and to avoid
> any confusion that there are specific funding or operational resolutions
> for which members cast votes on a regular basis.
> 
> After reviewing this draft, please let me know if there are any
> additional changes to be made.  I recall that we have a deadline for
> comments at 11:00 UTC so that I can incorporate any final edits by 12:00
> UTC and ultimate release of the proposal to the community at 13:00 UTC.
> 
> Thanks,
> -Michael
> 
> p.s.  One item I recall there being a removal of text had to do with the
> discussion of the issue of how detailed provisions about the contract
> would be included but I did not remove any such text.  It may have
> already been addressed in the edits but I wanted to confirm with the
> team just in case.  Thanks.
> 
> -- 
> 
> Michael R. Abejuela
> 
> Associate General Counsel
> 
> ARIN
> 
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> 
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