[CRISP-TEAM] 2ND CRISP IANA PROPOSAL Draft - CRISP Review

[Alan Barrett]

I have the following three comments, which I would like to be 
addressed before publication of this second draft.  I have further 
editorial comments which I will defer for later.

* I.B A description of the customer(s) of the service or activity.

I suggest to add an additional paragraph at the beginning of this
section:

Add:

    The RIRs are the direct customers of the relevant IANA services.
    RIR members, and all Internet users, indirectly depend on
    these services.

* III.A.3, last paragraph before III.A.4

I suggest to delete this paragraph, because it comes from an earlier
most of section III.A.

Delete:

    While there are no concrete needs or plans at this point, the
    NRO EC may in the future determine that the IANA functions
    related to number resources should be transferred to a different
    contractor. In such a case, selection of a new contractor shall be
    conducted in a fair, open and transparent process, in line with
    applicable industry best practices and standards.  Associated
    requests for proposals, responses, and the contract itself, shall
    be published.

* VI.E diagram

I suggest to replace the diagram with the text.  However, I have not
drafted the apropriate text, and thi might be too big a change for this
point in the process.  I would be happy to wait until the next draft.

--apb (Alan Barrett)