[CRISP-TEAM] 2ND CRISP IANA PROPOSAL Draft - CRISP Review

[Alan Barrett]

Thank you very much, Michael, for consolidating all the changes 
into this document.

I believe that all the changes that I proposed have been 
incorporated.

I have the following comments and suggestions:

1. A change to section III.A no longer makes sense.

A re-write of parts of section III.A mean that this paragraph no 
longer fits in its current position just before III.A.4:

[[[

While there are no concrete needs or plans at this point, the 
NRO EC may in the future determine that the IANA functions 
related to number resources should be transferred to a different 
contractor. In such a case, selection of a new contractor shall be 
conducted in a fair, open and transparent process, in line with 
applicable industry best practices and standards.  Associated 
requests for proposals, responses, and the contract itself, shall 
be published.

]]]

I think that this paragraph can be removed, because the ideas in 
this paragraph are adequately captured under "viii. Continuity of 
Operations", but I'd like confirmation from others.

2. Diagram in section VI.E.

I think that we should publish a text version of the document, and
others might want to publish translations of the document, but the
diagram in section "VI.E LACNIC regional process" makes that difficult.
Could we replace the diagram with a textual description?

3. Inconsistencies in formatting

I noticed a few inconsistencies in formatting, such as lines with
different indentation or bold or italic attributes from other similar
lines, or paragraphs separated from their neighbours by only a line
break without a blank line.

4. Numbering under III.A.3

Several of the points under "III.A.3. Contract and Service level agreement"
have non-hierarchical numbers, like "ii. Distribution of Internet Number
Resources by the IANA Operator to RIRs".  I think this would be better
as III.A.3.ii.

I am willing to work on all these issues, if there is agreement, and if
I could have access to the origiinal .docx file.

--apb (Alan Barrett)