[CRISP-TEAM] Draft SLA Principles- Section III text insertion

[Paul Rendek]

Hey Izumi,

Thanks very much for your comment on the draft insertion for section
III. Nurani and I have incorported your suggested changes and I have
attached the latest final draft version witht he track changes
reflecting your suggestions.

Cheers,
Paul


On 1/7/15 5:13 AM, Izumi Okutani wrote:
> Paul, Nurani and CRISP Team,
>
>
> Thank you for working on the suggested text.
>
> I think it covers all key points consistenet with the document Paul had
> shared with SLA main points and principles.
>
> Sorry the e-mail is a little long due to quotes but I believe I'm not
> suggesting anything subatantial.
>
>
> Michael,
> I wonder if you would be able to share how this section will look like
> if reflecting all suggested text, including texts from Andrei and Alan.
>
> I note there may be more comments but it would be helpful to see how the
> format of this section will look like, after incorporating suggested
> texts at this stage.
> (Especially with titles added for each proposal element)
>
>
>
>
>
> ## Key observation : No changes needed ##
>
> IPR:
> I am comfortable with the description of ""ix. Intellectual Property
> Rights and Rights Over Data", which doesn't contract with our
> description in our prpoosal related to IRP, from my perspective.
>
> I welcome feedback from CRISP Team members with more expert knowledge in
> this area.
>
> Andrew Sullivan's point:
> I note his is addressed in the sentence below.
>
> "This proposal assumes that specific IANA customers (i.e. the numbers
> community, the protocol parameters community and the names community)
> will have independent arrangements with the IANA operator..."
>
>
>
>
> ## Editorial suggestions ##
>
> Minor editorical suggestions for the ease of reading, doesn't change
> contents/any part of the sentences.
>
> 1. Move the last paragraph describing SLA in earlier paragraph
>  - For clarify to reading, describe the concept at the begining and
>    list each elements
>  - * Paragraph marked in * is suggested to move
>
>    (No changes in the texts & not critical, if there is a diagreement
>     to change)
>
> ---
> * This proposal assumes that specific IANA customers (i.e. the numbers
> community, the protocol parameters community and the names community)
> will have independent arrangements with the IANA operator relating to
> maintenance of the specific registries for which they are responsible.
> At the same time, the Internet numbers community wishes to emphasize the
> importance of communication and coordination between these communities
> to ensure the stability of IANA functions operation. Such communication
> and coordination would be especially vital should the three communities
> reach different decisions regarding the identity of the IANA functions
> operator going forward. Efforts to facilitate this communication and
> coordination should be undertaken by the affected communities via
> processes separate to this stewardship transition process.  *
>
> The following is a proposal to replace the current NTIA IANA agreement
> with a new contract that more directly reflects and enforces the IANA
> functions operator's accountability to the open, bottom-up numbers
> community.  The proposal attempts to ensure the continuity of processes
> and mechanisms that have proved successful and with which the community
> is satisfied.  .....
>
> ---
>
>
>
>
> 2. "IANA Agreement Principles" Section
> I suggeste to put the title in the format which doesn't cause
> misundertang that this is a seperate proposal element, different from SLA.
>
> (1)	ICANN to continue as the IANA functions operator on number resources;
> (2)	Intellectual property rights (IPR) related to the provision of the
> IANA services stay with the community;
> (3)	Service level agreement with the IANA functions operator on number
> resources; and
> (4)	Establishment of a Review Committee, with representatives from each
> RIR, to advise the NRO EC on the review of the IANA functions operator’s
> performance and meeting of identified service levels.
>
>
> "IANA Agreement Principles" is not a seperate element of the proposal
> but a part of (3).
>
>
>
>
>
> On 2015/01/06 19:14, Paul Rendek wrote:
>> Dear Colleagues,
>>
>> Please find attached the agreed text insertion of SLA principles into
>> section III of the Draft Response as promised by Nurani and I.
>>
>> Michael, I hope that the track changes insertion will make it easier to
>> incorporate into the master draft document.
>>
>> If you have any comment please send this along to the list.
>>
>> Cheers,
>> Paul
>>
>> RIPE NCC
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
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>>
>
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