[CRISP-TEAM] Draft SLA Principles- Section III text insertion

[Izumi Okutani]

Paul, Nurani and CRISP Team,


Thank you for working on the suggested text.

I think it covers all key points consistenet with the document Paul had
shared with SLA main points and principles.

Sorry the e-mail is a little long due to quotes but I believe I'm not
suggesting anything subatantial.


Michael,
I wonder if you would be able to share how this section will look like
if reflecting all suggested text, including texts from Andrei and Alan.

I note there may be more comments but it would be helpful to see how the
format of this section will look like, after incorporating suggested
texts at this stage.
(Especially with titles added for each proposal element)





## Key observation : No changes needed ##

IPR:
I am comfortable with the description of ""ix. Intellectual Property
Rights and Rights Over Data", which doesn't contract with our
description in our prpoosal related to IRP, from my perspective.

I welcome feedback from CRISP Team members with more expert knowledge in
this area.

Andrew Sullivan's point:
I note his is addressed in the sentence below.

"This proposal assumes that specific IANA customers (i.e. the numbers
community, the protocol parameters community and the names community)
will have independent arrangements with the IANA operator..."




## Editorial suggestions ##

Minor editorical suggestions for the ease of reading, doesn't change
contents/any part of the sentences.

1. Move the last paragraph describing SLA in earlier paragraph
 - For clarify to reading, describe the concept at the begining and
   list each elements
 - * Paragraph marked in * is suggested to move

   (No changes in the texts & not critical, if there is a diagreement
    to change)

---
* This proposal assumes that specific IANA customers (i.e. the numbers
community, the protocol parameters community and the names community)
will have independent arrangements with the IANA operator relating to
maintenance of the specific registries for which they are responsible.
At the same time, the Internet numbers community wishes to emphasize the
importance of communication and coordination between these communities
to ensure the stability of IANA functions operation. Such communication
and coordination would be especially vital should the three communities
reach different decisions regarding the identity of the IANA functions
operator going forward. Efforts to facilitate this communication and
coordination should be undertaken by the affected communities via
processes separate to this stewardship transition process.  *

The following is a proposal to replace the current NTIA IANA agreement
with a new contract that more directly reflects and enforces the IANA
functions operator's accountability to the open, bottom-up numbers
community.  The proposal attempts to ensure the continuity of processes
and mechanisms that have proved successful and with which the community
is satisfied.  .....

---




2. "IANA Agreement Principles" Section
I suggeste to put the title in the format which doesn't cause
misundertang that this is a seperate proposal element, different from SLA.

(1)	ICANN to continue as the IANA functions operator on number resources;
(2)	Intellectual property rights (IPR) related to the provision of the
IANA services stay with the community;
(3)	Service level agreement with the IANA functions operator on number
resources; and
(4)	Establishment of a Review Committee, with representatives from each
RIR, to advise the NRO EC on the review of the IANA functions operator’s
performance and meeting of identified service levels.


"IANA Agreement Principles" is not a seperate element of the proposal
but a part of (3).





On 2015/01/06 19:14, Paul Rendek wrote:
> Dear Colleagues,
> 
> Please find attached the agreed text insertion of SLA principles into
> section III of the Draft Response as promised by Nurani and I.
> 
> Michael, I hope that the track changes insertion will make it easier to
> incorporate into the master draft document.
> 
> If you have any comment please send this along to the list.
> 
> Cheers,
> Paul
> 
> RIPE NCC
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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