[CRISP-TEAM] Updated proposal draft - reordering answers edit

[Michael Abejuela]

Thank you Izumi,

Attached is the updated draft proposal reflecting the change you
identified.  Both a redline and clean version is attached.  Please let me
know if you or any other members of the team have any questions.

Sincerely,
-Michael

-- 
Michael R. Abejuela

Associate General Counsel

ARIN

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On 12/24/14, 4:48 AM, "Izumi Okutani" <izumi at nic.ad.jp> wrote:

>Thank you very much Michael.
>
>I just have one suggestion.
>
>The paragraph below looks to me like a part of the proposal (proposal
>element (1)ICANN to continue as the IANA functions operator on number
>resources).
>----------
>To maintain stability and continuity in operations of the Internet
>number-related IANA services, very minimal changes to the arrangements
>listed in Section II.B are proposed, including the identification of the
>proposed initial IANA functions operator. As noted in numerous NRO
>communications over the past decade, the RIRs have been very satisfied
>with the performance of ICANN in the role of IANA functions operator.
>Taking this into account, and considering the strong desires expressed
>in the five RIR communities' IANA stewardship discussions for stability
>and a minimum of operational change, the Internet numbering community
>believes that ICANN should remain in the role of IANA functions operator
>for at least the initial term of the new contract.
>----------
>
>I suggest we move this to the paragraph after describing 3 proposal
>elements. Attached is the redline of showing where I suggest to move.
>
>Other than that, I'm happy with this.
>
>Suggestion for the next step:
>Let's post what Michael has sent us (2014/12/23 UTC 20:13) on the NRO
>website.
>
>(Since 12h has passed after Michael has shared the edited version, and
>  I wouldn't want Michael to do more work on Chrismas Eve)
>
>  - Explaining this is an edited version, simply changed order of
>    answers according to questions with no changes in contents.
>  - Once my suggestion is reflected, we can post this version as the
>    latest edited version.
>
>
>Thanks,
>Izumi
>
>(2014/12/24 16:38), Michael Abejuela wrote:
>> Hello CRISP Team Members,
>>
>> Please find attached the updated version of the proposal draft both in
>> redline and clean versions.  I have tried to capture all of the comments
>> and corresponding edits, but please let me know if you observe any
>> discrepancies.  The references, acronyms and apostrophe issues should
>>have
>> all been caught in this draft.
>>
>> Izumi, I did try to relocate the section you referenced to be moved to
>> Section IV or end of Section III; however, I noticed that the paragraph
>> was specifically to respond to one question on Section III.  Therefore,
>> instead of relocating the paragraph, I added the specific question above
>> that paragraph language to be clear on the purpose for the paragraph.
>> Also, I considered adding the specific questions to map against the
>> content in Section V and VI; however, it appears a lot of the language
>> generally responds to the questions of those sections overall.  So for
>> now, I���ve kept it the same as it may require significant rewriting of
>>text
>> which may, if necessary, be prudent to do in the Second Draft output.  I
>> welcome any suggestions or alternatives on this.
>>
>> If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask.
>>
>> Thanks,
>> -Michael
>>
>

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