[CRISP-TEAM] Input for discussion: a drafty-draft

[Izumi Okutani]

 > I also think that while editorial suggestions are fine and welcome, the
 > priority should perhaps be given to highlighting substantive issues
 > other team members see with the proposed arrangements in this draft. If
 > we can distill those here on the list, we can have a more productive
 > discussion at the call today, IMO.

Good suggestion Andrei. This would indeed be helpful.

I'd also like to point out that the comparison of RIR proposals sent by 
Craig (Summary of RIR proposals.pdf) may be helpful in highlighting the 
difference and key issues, to consider your comments.


 > Of course if there are no major issues and we just need to polish the
 > existing text - that is even better!

:)


Regards,
Izumi

(2014/12/11 17:34), Andrei Robachevsky wrote:
> Thank you Michael for the improved document.
>
> I agree that the most complex part is the sections 3 "Proposed
> Post-Transition Oversight and Accountability Arrangements" & 4
> "Transition Implications". Since 4 describes the implications of the
> changes it proposed in Section 3, I think we should concentrate on the
> latter.
>
> I also think that while editorial suggestions are fine and welcome, the
> priority should perhaps be given to highlighting substantive issues
> other team members see with the proposed arrangements in this draft. If
> we can distill those here on the list, we can have a more productive
> discussion at the call today, IMO.
>
> Of course if there are no major issues and we just need to polish the
> existing text - that is even better!
>
> Regards,
>
> Andrei
>
> Michael Abejuela wrote on 10/12/14 11:44:
>> Hello CRISP team,
>>
>> Thank you Andrei for forwarding this draft to the team for review.  We
>> observe that RIPE combined items from both ARIN�s and RIPE�s draft
>> proposals as they are in response format for ease of the team�s review.  I
>> agree with Andrei and expect this is a good starting point from which the
>> team will have a substantive discussion.
>>
>> To respond to your comment Andres, you are correct, the Drafting Team
>> (myself, Craig, Andrei and Esteban) will endeavor to reflect the
>> similarities and differences of the regional proposals as best as
>> possible.  At this point we are circulating drafts quickly to begin the
>> discussion and to make for a more effective discussion on the call
>> tomorrow.
>>
>> To add to the draft circulated by Andrei, attached is a redline and the
>> following comments as well as an updated �clean� version:
>>
>> (1)	You will observe some edits to sections 1 & 2 that just add a bit more
>> detail and clarification that hopefully is not too contentious;
>> (2)	With the bulk of discussions expected in sections 3 & 4, you will
>> observe again some edits to add some detail and clarification;
>> (3)	The removal of the tabbed over inserts (relating to scheduling of
>> efforts by June 2015) was not in disagreement, but rather are principles
>> on which we all can agree but may not be appropriate for inclusion in the
>> proposal itself;
>> (4)	The title of the document has been revised as a CRISP IANA proposal
>> draft; and
>> (5)	One focus of the edits in the attached draft were to highlight
>> stability, continuity, the bottom up process (both for policy and
>> accountability), and specific responses to elements in the RFP.
>>
>> This is not meant to be proposed as a final draft but rather a start to
>> discussions.  While this reflects in large part efforts from RIPE and
>> ARIN, we look forward to comments and suggested edits from the other RIR�s
>> as well to have a comprehensive draft.
>>
>> One logistical item, I know that the agenda for tomorrow�s call includes
>> an item for drafting tools; however, in the meantime before we decide on a
>> tool, might I propose that the drafting team (myself, Andrei, Esteban &
>> Craig) �has the pen� with regard to this current draft and will be
>> responsible for updating the drafts accordingly in response to comments
>> and edits received via e-mail from the members of the CRISP team.  This
>> will hopefully avoid too many drafts crossing in cyberspace and getting
>> confusing.  Then once we decide on a drafting tool tomorrow, we can move
>> forward accordingly.
>>
>> Thanks,
>> -Michael
>>
>>
>
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