[CRISP-TEAM] Input for discussion: a drafty-draft

Michael Abejuela mabejuela at arin.net
Wed Dec 10 11:44:16 CET 2014

Hello CRISP team,

Thank you Andrei for forwarding this draft to the team for review.  We
observe that RIPE combined items from both ARIN¹s and RIPE¹s draft
proposals as they are in response format for ease of the team¹s review.  I
agree with Andrei and expect this is a good starting point from which the
team will have a substantive discussion.

To respond to your comment Andres, you are correct, the Drafting Team
(myself, Craig, Andrei and Esteban) will endeavor to reflect the
similarities and differences of the regional proposals as best as
possible.  At this point we are circulating drafts quickly to begin the
discussion and to make for a more effective discussion on the call

To add to the draft circulated by Andrei, attached is a redline and the
following comments as well as an updated ³clean² version:

(1)	You will observe some edits to sections 1 & 2 that just add a bit more
detail and clarification that hopefully is not too contentious;
(2)	With the bulk of discussions expected in sections 3 & 4, you will
observe again some edits to add some detail and clarification;
(3)	The removal of the tabbed over inserts (relating to scheduling of
efforts by June 2015) was not in disagreement, but rather are principles
on which we all can agree but may not be appropriate for inclusion in the
proposal itself; 
(4)	The title of the document has been revised as a CRISP IANA proposal
draft; and
(5)	One focus of the edits in the attached draft were to highlight
stability, continuity, the bottom up process (both for policy and
accountability), and specific responses to elements in the RFP.

This is not meant to be proposed as a final draft but rather a start to
discussions.  While this reflects in large part efforts from RIPE and
ARIN, we look forward to comments and suggested edits from the other RIR¹s
as well to have a comprehensive draft.

One logistical item, I know that the agenda for tomorrow¹s call includes
an item for drafting tools; however, in the meantime before we decide on a
tool, might I propose that the drafting team (myself, Andrei, Esteban &
Craig) ³has the pen² with regard to this current draft and will be
responsible for updating the drafts accordingly in response to comments
and edits received via e-mail from the members of the CRISP team.  This
will hopefully avoid too many drafts crossing in cyberspace and getting
confusing.  Then once we decide on a drafting tool tomorrow, we can move
forward accordingly.


Michael R. Abejuela
Associate General Counsel
3635 Concorde Parkway
Suite 200
Chantilly, VA 20151
(703) 227-9875 (p)
(703) 263-0111 (f)
mabejuela at arin.net

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On 12/9/14, 11:34 AM, "Andrei Robachevsky" <robachevsky at isoc.org> wrote:

>Dear colleagues,
>As discussed on our first teleconference, several communities have
>already done some drafting work on responses to the ICG Request for
>Proposals document. The RIPE CRISP team has done our own, independent
>drafting exercise, but were subsequently able to reflect on the draft
>sent through to the ianaxfer list by colleagues in the ARIN region.
>We would like to present the attached draft, which incorporates elements
>of both of those documents, as a starting point for discussions - we
>welcome comments from all CRISP team members (including colleagues from
>ARIN, who may have a different perspective on how best to reflect the
>work they have already put in here).
>I hope this can save us time and help identifying issues that need more
>thorough discussion.
>Moving forward, I think that it would be useful to discuss (either on
>this list or on Thursday¹s teleconference) tools for further drafting
>activity. We have developed our draft using Google Docs as a platform,
>but others may prefer a wiki or some alternative tool. The priorities
>were obviously ease of use, accessibility and version control.
>I look forward to hearing feedback on the work in the attached document,
>and on any other drafting work that colleagues would like to bring to
>the list.
>Best regards,

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